Woke the humans at 0600 for PT and first patrol. Smaller human pelted me with pillows. Food lady refused to budge until 0700. This unit has no discipline. Then she said a lot of words that made me feel like I was back with my platoon. These people are going to need to get with the program. I gave them a hard pass yesterday because they needed a day before I started training them.
Scouted area for suspicious devices. Found one under a shrub in front of a coffee shop filled with humans. Everyone was shouting and pointing while I dug it up; you’d think they’d never seen an IED before and didn’t know to take cover. This one was called a “baby shoe.” Food lady talked to some guy who was really angry. I thought I might have to take him down, but then he gave me a cranberry muffin. I thought it was a little dry, but he thanked me for saving his shop, so I let it pass.
Now, I’m standing post in my guard tower watching for suspicious activity.
Wait, what? The humans moved everything around. Every unfriendly in the area can now see in the window. They’re so unprepared. I worry about these people.
I got dinged for eating lettuce off the food tree outside while on watch. Why, human? Why is the food tree there if we’re not supposed to eat it?
Everyone’s watching this school shooting crap. Hello?!? Unemployed warrior who can pick a suspicious perp out of a crowd and sniff ammo from 50 yards. Give me a job already! I could wander around school buildings and keep things under control, and I can take down bad guys faster than you can post on Twitter. I’ve got the scars to prove it.
— Excerpt from the Diary of Taz, a Retired Military Service Dog
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