Carrie La Seur. My stalker? Some you probably remember her from THIS POST, which I wrote when I’d finally had enough of her interfering in my personal and professional life and told the truth about what she’d been doing. I had hoped that I could forget her name after we signed an agreement to cease suing one another and go our separate ways last month. But no. And this time there’s actually a kind of hilarious twist at the end.
Murph and I spent Friday afternoon exploring the outer islands of Big Pine, watching dolphins frolic, sea turtles swim past us and manatees make their way through the mangroves. Once we were off the water, I offered to take him up to Marathon (we were already more than half of the 60 miles there) to buy a couple of salt water hermit crabs and a shrimp for his fish tank. And before you mention it, yes, I do realize that I am now feeding food. Also, after a few weeks here, an hour trip to Marathon starts to feel like a two-week trek through the Andes, so doing it all at once was an amazeballs idea.
So, we were at the pet store, and he was debating the purchase of a bumblebee shrimp versus a peppermint shrimp (file this with “shit I never knew I didn’t need to know”), when I decided to check my email. Lo and behold, I found this missive from Carrie LaSeur by way of her attorney, David I. Grunfeld of Astor Weiss back in Philadelphia.
Thank you for your cooperation in resolving the Chester County litigation.
Notwithstanding the foregoing, we note that you still have online several posts which accuse our client of various crimes relating to physical threats and otherwise which are not true.
The continuation of these postings may cause our client financial harm as to her employment, writings, residence and otherwise, as well as her relationships with others such as Bryn Mawr alumni.
Accordingly, we hereby demand that you take down all posts relating to our client immediately, and cease and desist communicating with anyone, online or otherwise, anything relating to our client, and issue retractions to all those with which you have previously communicated.
Our Mutual Release released you as to our client’s claim for payment of the car purchase, you released her as to claims set forth in your Counterclaim relating to her alleged actions against you, but you may remain liable for defamation and other actions relative to the foregoing. Please acknowledge and be guided accordingly.
David I. Grunfeld, Esquire
Astor Weiss Kaplan & Mandel, LLP
200 South Broad Street, Suite 600
Philadelphia, PA 19102
(215) 790-0509 (fax)
Oh dear, I thought. Carrie La Seur is unhappy about that post? Because there was really only that one. And I might be liable for damages to her income? Well, shit. Does that mean if she gets disbarred in Montana because I filed charges against her for her gross, inappropriate and probably criminal misconduct I have to pay her her lawyer’s salary forever?
Oy vey, Mr. G. Have ye learned nothing from yer tanglin’ wit’ me all these months then? Obviously not. So, still soggy, groggy and smelly from a day on the bay, but feeling chill and with no small eyeroll, I sent this back:
When your client has me reinstated in the alumnae groups from which she had me excluded and publicly apologizes for calling me a thief, I will remove the post in question.
Until then know that every word is true, I have hard evidence in writing from your client and in voicemails, and I will not take it down. There’s no legal remedy available. Printing the truth is not illegal, especially when you did not make that part of the settlement.
She made all of this public. If you want to start it all over, go ahead. I have actual witnesses, her emails, her texts, her voicemails and people she’s spoken to about me to corroborate what’s publicly posted. Bring it on. I’d love that. There would be nothing left of her reputation, and all I’ll have to do is defend myself.
If she wants it taken down, I want my name cleared with the alumnae.
Have a nice weekend,
I actually don’t really care if he has a nice weekend or if his barbecue grill blows up and singes his eyebrows off, but the way I usually end my emails (Kindly, or With Kind Regards, or Happy Weekend!) seemed friendlier than I really feel about becoming the brunt of his ineptitude. Yeah, ineptitude. I didn’t want to convey the wrong message.
You see, his ineptitude in sending this hostile message is especially bizarre and totally hilarious in light of the fact that I’d suggested this back when we were negotiating the settlement in June, and he’d completely and totally ignored me and did NOT do it in the executed agreement:
Yeah, you read that right. “Also, I will remove the blog post and cease to speak about her if she will agree to the same about me.” Right? He ignored that offer completely when he should have totally gone for an NDA and cease and desist with the settlement. Seriously. Day late and a dollar short much, Dave? Probably, she didn’t want to agree to shut the fuck up, but who knows? I am so sick of these two brilliant fucking legal minds. I am even sicker of living in fear of what she will do, or have him threaten to do, next.
And do they teach lawyers to ignore basic civility, manners and attracting more flies with honey than vinegar? Because if I’d gotten this letter from him, things might have not gone sideways a second time.
“Thank you for your cooperation in settling the matter in Chester County last month. Ms. La Seur is releasing a book in the near future and is concerned about the post that remains on your blog. If you would remove it from your blog, she would be willing to cease and desist from any mention of you again in the future and will do her best to have you reinstated in the alumnae groups from which she insisted you be excluded.”
Or something like that. But Jesus Christ on a paddleboard in the fucking Gulf of Mexico, asshole! Threatening me again? After it all settled down? Instead of common goddamned decency? He knows what his client did to me and my family and my friends and my son for a year. Come on.
Anyway, we bought the shrimp (bumblebee, creepy and feisty) and two very red hermit crabs, and Murph promptly fell asleep for the long drive home. A day on the water can do it to you, folks. Fresh, salty air, hot sun, cool ocean breezes and some exercise? So I had some time to think as I crossed the seven-mile bridge and headed east, which we really consider south in these parts, but those flipping maps say otherwise.
Friday was July 21st. Could she really be that fucking nuts? And then I looked. And OMG, ladies and gentlemen. She is that absolutely nuts. Because July 21st was our stalkerversary™. The actual anniversary of the ugly, inappropriate Facebook post to 3000 alumnae of our mutual alma mater that started it all. The one that utterly misrepresented a private dispute over less than $4000 to the public and marked the start of Carrie La Seur’s now year-long campaign of unrelenting harassment of me. What do I mean?
On July 21, 2016, she posted this in a group called “You Know You Went to Bryn Mawr College When…”
See her name and her photo? Not much doubt she mixed up this pot of shit and then stirred it to a boil, hunh? Now, anyone with Google would know that “grand theft auto” and a dispute over a payment date for a civil transaction with a contract that has no payment date on it are light years apart. I’d have thunk that Carrie would have learnt that at Yale Law School. But maybe my assumption that she was just posting it to embarrass, threaten and defame me to all of our peers while painting herself as a victim and buying herself a lot of pathetic attention was off. Maybe she really doesn’t know the difference between civil and criminal matters. Maybe she is that fucking dumb.
Never mind that there was this exchange prior that kind of makes Miss Carrie a big old liar in this “pay attention to me and trash her” post, though. We’ll just pretend she never said this. Except, oops. I have it in writing. So maybe we won’t forget that.
But then all the Bryn Mawr College Alumnae, who love, love, love them some Honor Code, especially when it doesn’t apply to how they live in the real world, and super-especially when they think you aren’t a part of their group anymore and cannot see what they say about you, get involved and make assumptions with like one-third of the facts.
See all the Bryn Mawr College Alumnae attached to this? Notice any familiar names? Lisa Schiffren is a well-known, uber-conservative writer and commentator. Melissa Vaughn seems weirdly into it all for someone who didn’t know me (and she was the first to find, and publish, my address and phone number). I got a great pickle recipe from Lori. I mean, this is some shit. Some of these women are doctors. Maybe yours. Or lawyers. Or professors. Yep, folks. You, too, can spend your retirement savings so that your daughter can grow up and be one of the Mean Girls.
Back to Grunfeld and Carrie La Seur. So Carrie posts this, and they all go crazy. Right? Oh, the crazy. And then I got these emails.
And I replied to Anne.
And though Mr. Grunfeld implies that Carrie didn’t ever threaten me, well, look for yourselves. Anne Slater, who was a friend and who had been to my home and I to hers, emailed me to tell me that Carrie La Seur was, in fact, threatening me. She had been in touch with Carrie directly and was in a position to know that Carrie was gunning for my then 9-year-old child even though she knew he was sick and that I’m a single mom. Anne wasn’t the only one, either. Five others contacted me to tell me that I was in immediate danger from her. They all said they feared what she would do to my son in their messages. Got that? A bunch of other alumnae of Bryn Mawr College were afraid that Carrie would harm my son in the pursuit of this vendetta she has kept going and didn’t know what to do. Who threatens a sick kid with being taken from his only parent? Oh, that would be Carrie La Seur. See above as proof.
Amid all of this nonsense, I had to contact Kim Cassidy, the president of freaking Bryn Mawr College, who had to have someone come in late on a Friday in the summer to strip my personal information from the alumnae database because these “women” were looking me up and making threats on behalf of Carrie.
So, um, Dave? Think again, dude, about threatening me about harm that might come to your client. For realz. Think again. Also, because they didn’t only threaten and not do anything more. They actually called Child Protective Services in Chester County on “oh poor” Carrie La Seur’s behalf and told them I was not taking care of my disabled, medically challenged child. I found out while I was at a specialist appointment for him at CHOP, where I used to spend most of my days. They deliberately made a false report because none of these people know me or my son. They took Carrie’s word for it, which bewilders me; maybe they haven’t had a year’s worth of her behavior to reference. But oh, the irony of getting the call while I was sitting with one of Murph’s docs.
And it didn’t end there. Like I said, it started there. I lost a job opportunity because of that post she wrote. I had to deal with Facebook to take it down because none of those precious alums thought it needed to go anywhere. They was havin’ a big fun time y’all! But Carrie kept up the weird, frightening notes and one liner emails and threats for a year. It started a few weeks later, on August 21.
Which would have been brilliant, and all Ponzi, except for the fact that nothing ever got mailed to her by me and she was never coerced into a thing, and that’s all in writing, too. So either she’s the dumbest fucking lawyer ever to graduate from Yale, or she was deliberately trying to scare a single mom with a medically fragile child, or she was just drunk and web-surfing weird shit to say when you’re having a tantrum. Any way you look at it, though, she is threatening me and this is stalking and an “ongoing pattern of harassment.”
I could go on and post everything she ever sent, but I won’t. I have 10 months worth of her communications, from her own email, or signed by her that she put in the mail having tracked down the addresses of friends and family who are hard to connect to me (like I said, this sounds and feels like being stalked), or saying her name before ranting into my voicemail (because stalkers don’t do that, either). And while I can’t sue her for what she did to me for a year as I did sign off because I thought she would finally go the fuck away, I can defend myself against any personal or legal action that she takes with the whole ugly fucking truth. Things that make you go hunh? Like a weird stalking email on New Year’s Eve? And then let’s call in the Tredyffrin Township Police Department who were investigating her for criminal activities against me before we moved. Let’s make it all part of the public record that will never, ever go away. I’m not sure if Mr. G has copies of everything she sent because she sure as hell has no problem with lying. Maybe she’s lying to him, too? I find it hard to believe any lawyer would want to take that tone with a woman with this many documents to enter in her own defense.
So back to the erstwhile Mr. Grunfeld’s assertions and demands. Maybe I’d care what he said if I hadn’t married an attorney whose favorite thing was being a courtroom bully. Then I lived with another. Most of my friends are lawyers or lawyer spouses. And you know what a letter from a lawyer is worth? Nothing. Not one thing. Hell, I sent FOUR cease and desist letters to Carrie La Seur and copied this legal clown on them, and she never ceased or desisted. So now? When I haven’t even mentioned her but to say that I was glad to be done with car bitch once, in one line, of one post? No, DG, nope, nada, not this time. And I was going to let my complaint with the Montana Bar Association go, too. Live and let live. NOT ANYMORE. Tell her to prepare to defend her words and deeds to them and the New York Bar Association. She’s not listed as an attorney at her former firm in Montana anymore, Baumstark Braaten. Maybe she’s quit lawyering? Or did they just take her name off the door?
And if she’s thinking she’s going to start this stalking shit up all over? Oh no. Not this time. My employers know all about her. My professional contacts have been warned in advance. The local police and the county sheriffs are aware of her and her antics. Hell, Mr. Grunfeld knows about her. That letter is exactly why people say lawyers have no ethics. Instead of telling her to leave well enough alone (or doing a decent job the first time when this all settled), he wrote that note last week and stirred this all up again. I took no chances when I left. If she makes one move to continue the pattern of abuse? I’m having her arrested. She’s not immune to a private criminal complaint if the authorities here won’t act. That agreement did not say I would not proceed with criminal action against her to protect myself and my son. And where I am now? They take harassing a local single parent with a young child a little more seriously.
Sue me. Feel free. In fact, figuring out what jurisdiction this whole shit show belongs in might be beyond both of you and four of your friends. The car was given to me in New Jersey. Carrie La Seur is a Montana resident who was living in New York state at the time of the post in question but has since presumably returned to her primary residence. I was a resident of Pennsylvania until May, but the post was written and published in Virginia before that, and I now reside in Florida and have for over 60 days. The Kraken is incorporated in still another state, and my business partner is in yet another. So, go forth dude. Are you legally able to practice in all the places? Because you can bet my legal friends and I will tie everyone up with jurisdictional issues forfuckingever. And after that, what are you suing me for? I’m not exactly rolling in dough. Have at it.
Get a court order telling me to take anything off of my blog? I’ll get an arrest warrant and post the photos of your client’s mug shot everywhere with her name tagged to it. Because that would be a continuation of the pattern of stalking and harassment, and just because she’s using a guy who should have retired a decade ago but didn’t, doesn’t mean she’s not liable for that in a criminal sense.
And this idea that I’m doing serious harm to her with the alums? Hahahaha! What hoot that Mr. Grunfeld is! See above. I never posted anything about her in any Bryn Mawr groups. I barely speak to any of them. In fact, she went on some kind of crusade to have me kicked out of all of them because that’s how she behaves. Behind your back and lying. And I never said a word about her but to defend myself to one moderator by showing her Carrie’s own written communications. But what she’s done is not stalking? Or harming my reputation? Or my income? Or my status? Or my child who went to therapy, in part, because of the stress and anxiety her behavior for 10 relentless months caused? Holy hell. She even got one of her friends to fucking spy on me and report back to her about what I was posting in a group that had explicit rules about these things. Melissa Bristol? Harvard Law? I’m looking at you and your shitty behavior, and the New York Bar Association cause you helped harm my son on Carrie’s behalf, and she didn’t protect you in the settlement agreement.
Also, clearly do not waste money on Ivy League law school degrees.
As for defamation, it’s not defaming to publish the actual words that someone wrote or actual documented, substantiated, witnessed events or emails about said incidents if they represent facts. In fact, it’s not even plagiarism because I’m correctly attributing them to Carrie La Seur herself and showing the pictures instead of quoting. She’s a writer and a lawyer. She has press people and an agent and a lawyer, however questionable his skills. Shouldn’t she know this? Or does she want me to publish the worse stuff? At this point, I’m thinking of writing a novel about it, tentatively titled The Bryn Mawr Debacle.
The weird and stupid part? This was over. I was done. Moved on. Ready to let it all go. And I’m back to feeling like I’m being harassed and stalked by these people.
I’m goin’ back to Margaritaville now. Stay tuned for more on island living!
If you’d like, you can make a donation (literally every penny counts and is appreciated) to The Kraken Legal Defense Fund to help us fight this battle afreakingain (and now that you know the truth, to keep this woman away from us) and of course, to keep The Kraken going!
Update 7/24: Either Carrie or some of her compatriots are desperately trying to comment very inappropriate things. The authorities expected this and are running software to trap and trace the ISP. Hopefully, this will end with her in handcuffs.