This, this Costco fruitcake, literally, made my day. I went to Costco to do something nice for my mother for her birthday/Christmas. I don’t know why, okay? Yes, she sent lottery tickets on my birthday with no card instead of helping us. No, we have still not been invited to her new beach house. No, I still can’t walk between the fractured heel spur and the crazy sprained knee. And yeah, it’s a huge warehouse of a place. It’s been a bad week. I’m a little adrift. Obviously making weird choices. But I found THIS.
This is the most amazing fruitcake in the world. And I’ve tried a lot. I actually like fruitcake. I’m a freaking fruitcake connoisseur. Last year, they were sold out right after Thanksgiving, so I had none. That was very sad.
And even though my child seems to be intent upon competing for the dubious title of “Best Fruitcake Ever” these days, the bar just moved a little higher for him. He’ll have to work harder, act wilder and speaketh in more tongues if he wants drive me to eat the whole thing in one sitting, with a bottle of bourbon, while watching Love Actually (in bed) and declare him the 2016 Fruitcake of the Year. I’m sure he’ll try. He’s kind of competitive sometimes.
It’s going to be close, guys. Let’s root for Costco fruitcake to win.