Some of you know that the University of Utah in Salt Lake City has been pulling out all the stops trying to recruit me to a VP job there doing assessment. Flattering, of course, to be so wanted, but I’ve been ignoring them for 10 days. I mean, I turned down MIT in December because they would not move to Florida or let me work remotely 6 months of the year. So, this morning, I talked to their guy, Neldon (yeah, Neldon) about the job.
He went on and on about the job and did the hard sales pitch about Utah’s many wonders. And the whole moving package. And the $185K a year. Wow, really? I could live like a rock star for that kind of bank in Utah. But then…
Me: “What about some sister wives? I think I’d like two.”
Silence. Nervous laughter. More silence. Deafening silence.
Neldon: “Not everyone out here is Mormon, and there are no sister wives in the package. You’re kind of funny. It’s good you have a sense of humor.”
Me (not being funny): “Too bad about the sister wives, you know. That could really have tipped it. I realize they wouldn’t fix me a drink at the end of the day, and my kidlet would end up best friends with a kid named Nephi and his Uncle Lemuel, who is a year younger than they are. It’s a very confusing place, Utah is, but I could have made it work for some sister wives.”
“Awesome. Can you check on the magical underwear, too? I’d like some magic underpants, and if you could throw some of them into the deal we could keep talking.”
Politeness about getting back to me.
So I called my mother and told her.
She advises: “You’re so good at what you do. You just have to decide what you’re chasing. Money? Power? Title?”
Me: “Weather. I am chasing warm weather. If this were University of South Florida, I’d be packing.”
$10 says Neldon will actually call back and try again.