For most people, big decision time is a combination of intuition, facts and signs that it’s time to do something. Sometimes God, the Universe or the Great Cthulhu forces your hand; you get pushed off the side of the pool into the deep end, and you swim or you don’t. More often than not, though, we humans muddle along on our own, hoping for the best and dealing with the worst. So many of us didn’t listen to the immortal words of Kenny Rogers in The Gambler when he tried to tell us that key to all life is to “know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away and know when to run.” I’m listening, Kenny. I’m listening. There have been junctures in my life where I have felt like what I was doing was part of “the plan” and things fell into place. I knew
I’ve been blogging for fun and for my friends’ entertainment for a while now, but I’ve finally figured how to earn money blogging, drive traffic to my site, make a fortune, quit my other jobs and become internet fabulous (without being an international criminal mastermind who screws up like Kim here did on not just one, but two continents). And I’m going to share it with you, gentle reader. For free. That’s right. You can ignore all the blogs about the blogging because I am going to synthesize them into one handy, user-friendly ultimate post that tells you all the things you need to know about how to earn money blogging. All those years I spent in academia writing up research proposals and publications have come down to this: one epic post on what everyone in the world is going to tell you that you need to do to monetize your
Every year in April and May, friends, neighbors and other acquaintances ask me to help them understand and negotiate their financial aid award packages as their kids get ready to head to college. I’ve spent the better part of 20 years in higher education administration, and more than that if you consider what I picked up through osmosis with a mother (and all of her friends) who spent her career in that field. Many of my friends are still working in the trenches at colleges and universities, and I have often joked about writing The Insider’s Guide to Doing College. This year, I’ve been approached to do a number of other things as well, including interviews, a webinar and panel discussion. I’ve got lots of other things going on at the moment, though, so let me give you some advice here, and you can post questions on the blog if
Please excuse his absence. Again. It feels so weird to be pouring my heart out to an anonymous attendance dropbox that auto-replies “thank you.” But, okay. It is slightly better than responses I get when I try online dating. So he’s not going to be in school today. He’s got a massive headache and a sore throat, and he doesn’t think his neck can support his head much longer because it weighs a million thousand pounds (yay Singapore Math – is that even a number). It started last night, which means I didn’t get any sleep because in my bleary-eyed, questionable-decision-making state I thought it would be easier to stay awake than try to wake up if we needed to do another middle of the night ER visit. I called his doctor this morning, and the nurse, hand to God, said that he probably caught something from spending the other night in the ER.
I’ve been struggling with insomnia lately. Like for the last ten or fifteen years. So maybe not lately lately but it’s been worse recently. And it’s worse still on Sunday nights, which is weird since I don’t have to get up to go to a job that stresses me. But anyway, I got up around midnight, having watched The Walking Dead twice (and between Billions and Homeland on Kodi), to get some water and found the hermit crabs awake and oh-so-busy. King Fries was enjoying his pool and annoyed to see that I’m still alive. He peed at me with his eyeballs and chirped the piercing notes from the shower scene in Psycho because anxiety-related insomnia is apparently not enough of a reason I’m awake, but he thinks it should be holy terror. Power has gone to his tiny little crab head. Fil is engaging in interpretive gymnastics behind a giant structure (or
Yesterday started like any other snow day, with sleeping late, pajamas and lots of good food, and it was all fine until I decided to clear out my inbox and found this note from Murphy’s school band teacher: “With spring just around the corner, the students in band, chorus, and orchestra are working very hard to prepare for the VFES Spring Concert! The concert will be held on Wednesday, May 10, 2017. There will be a morning performance for the school at 10:00 AM, as well as a performance in the evening for families and friends at 7:00PM. Due to the large amount of student participation this year, the evening concert will be held at Valley Forge Middle School. More information about the concert will be sent out as the concert date approaches. We are looking forward to sharing our music with you!” Me (curious): Did you know there are
Anxiety is hard. Really, really hard. Especially anxiety that’s exacerbated by PTSD. I can ignore the constant hum of impending doom that plays in the background of my everyday life, and thankfully, I don’t keep myself awake with thoughts of my death, or Murphy’s or deal with the other things that sometimes manifest for folks who are trying to manage. I don’t confuse anxiety with panic (because once you’ve dealt with each, you know for damn sure which is which). For me, the hardest part is my inability to trust myself to make personal decisions. Or maybe it’s just decisions that involve personal risk. Or the possibility of failure. That’s where things become impossible in my head. Okay, occasionally, what to make for dinner seems overwhelming, too, but that’s why I keep the place stocked with Murphy food. Just in case. I’m not indecisive by nature. Professionally, I can make
On Wednesday night, I let Murphy unite the tribes of hermit crabs. I’ll be honest. I was worried. Fries is much smaller than the other three. And he’s, well, Fries. So while Murph promptly fell asleep after promising he’d be “in charge”, I ended up getting up at every commercial break during Designated Survivor to make sure they were not cannibalizing one another or “being aggressive” (though what that looks like in the world of arthropods escapes me). But we put McFlurry (still in the store-bought pink shell) and Filet o’ Fish (Fil) in there with Cheeseburger and Fries and hoped for the best. At first, the four kept to their corners. To his credit, Cheeseburger remained in his house, pretending to be dead as we all know he loves to do, and each of the newbies went in and looked around and didn’t bug him because I guess he doesn’t
Yes, you are looking at a box of hermit crabs. I know, folks. I lost a bet with Murphy and rather than expatriate to Canada or the Bahamas this week (which was the bet) I agreed to add to the hermit crab tribe to save his life because the ferocity with which he was arguing with me could only be explained by tween-fueled hormonal energy and he was not shutting up, and I was going to commit hari kari on Route 30 in front of Good Sam. Of course, he went for the craziest and most aggressive loony crabs at the Petco in Paoli. Because why wouldn’t he? And of course he tried to show me how they were trying to escape while I was driving, and I almost killed me, him, the crabs and a pickup truck with a black lab in the back. I would’ve felt bad about the
In our next episode of “As the Hermit Crab World Turns”… Murph (urgent): Mom! Come here! Fries is having sex with a strawberry! Me (so much nope): What? No. How? That’s not even possible. Murph (really insistent): Seriously, Mom. He dragged the biggest piece into his hut, and now he’s sitting on it, singing really loud. Me (tired): That’s not sex. That’s just weird. Obviously, he’s emotionally disturbed. Murph (indignant): Oh, no. It’s sex. I know sex when I see it. You have to see his antennas moving and hear him. He’s going for it. With fruit. Me (flummoxed):… Murph (annoyed): You need to get the webcam working right away. Freaky people would pay to watch crab porn, and I need a college fund. Me (incredulous): How do you even know these things? Murph: I TOLD YOU NOT TO MAKE ME DO THAT FAMILY LIFE UNIT!!!