Absent Note #34:
Please excuse the spawn for being absent today. Or don’t. Whatever. He’s sick; he swears death is imminent. Dictated his will to Cortana, said goodbye to Cheeseburger and Fries, and picked an outfit in which to be buried. Literally, NO ONE could want him at school right now more than I do. If you send truant officers, I advise BioHazard Gear and tazers. Also, could they bring me a Starbuck’s Valentine drink? It’s all I was hoping for this year, and it’s not even looking good for THAT now. Thoughts and prayers and crap for our continued coexistence appreciated.