Today I am grateful for THIS FRIENDSHIP. Every day, I am grateful for this friendship. She came into my life just before I gave birth to Daniel in a way that can only be explained by divine intervention, or the universe providing what you need when you need it, or a stroke of amazingly good luck at a time when I was in very short supply. She had a five-month old son, and a very old soul. For years, she was my first mom call, and she’s never failed to be there for us with love, wisdom and wit.
When I called her from the delivery room and confessed I had not fallen immediately in love with the screaming mess they expected me to kiss but instead had looked around for scalpels in case I needed to stab a nurse or my mother for looking suspiciously like they might harm the screaming mess, she told me it was good to have a plan. She said mother lions on National Geographic would be proud. She said love would come soon enough and in the meantime fierce protectiveness was a start.
When I called her, sobbing and reeling at yet another disappointment, and told her Daniel, who had enjoyed 3 bottles of glucose syrup in the delivery room, was not breastfeeding, she told me, “No one ever died of formula. Being a new mom is hard enough. We’re raising leg men. At least we’ll know what to expect when they hit puberty.” I’ve said that same thing to many new and expectant moms since, and I always see the same relief and gratitude that I felt in them.
She said the witching hour was normal. She said it was to okay to lie to the pediatrician about letting him sleep with me. She told me pacifiers were not the devil but judgy mothers were. She told me not to worry when he ate an entire box of chicken liver Whisker Lickins’ while we were on the phone one afternoon. She said his hair would be shiny.
When he was about to turn 4, and I worried something was off, she was the only person who encouraged me to have him evaluated. She consoled me and kept me strong for him as we went through each diagnosis. She showed me how to be a warrior for him while keeping it soft with him.