In the car on Sunday, Daniel, who is doing a “family life unit” in school, announced/insisted that babies get into mommy’s bellies via a pill they swallow. He said Friend must have swallowed TWO pills by mistake (to explain her twins).
And so, of course, I tried to dodge and weave and redirect and distract and when that didn’t work, I eventually had to explain about consent and penises and vaginas and uteruses and placentas and basic reproductive mechanics.
There was a thoughtful silence as I waited for the questions I didn’t want to answer.
And then, “Jesus Christ, Mom. These people need to come up with some better names for this crap. Uterus? Really? That sounds like planet. And do they know vagina sounds like Virginia? Those names need to be changed. They really didn’t think this stuff through.”
And that was that. End of discussion.
Except for a request that I now call him “God of Awesomeness” instead of Daniel.