Superduper Perky HR lady calls and leaves message on home phone in her best ex-cheerleader voice: “Hi this is XXX from HR and I wanted to ask if you could box up your computer and all of your other equipment and ship it back to us, insured, via UPS with signature. Give me a call and we’ll figure out some way to reimburse you after you ship it.”
I check to see that final paycheck with vacation and severance are waiting for ACH deposit tomorrow, and indeed, they are.
So we move on to possible responses to perkypants:
1. Good news! The items are already boxed up and ready to go. Feel free to bid on them on their auctions on ebay. Shipping’s included in the final auction price, so that should not be an issue! I’ll forward the links to their auction listings.
2. I’d be happy to to throw everything in a box, but you’ll need to contact UPS and pre-pay them them to come to my house, pick everything up and pack it. I’ll leave it all outside my door when I head for the beach this afternoon. I live in a really safe neighborhood, so it should be fine for a week or so as long as Hot Carl next door doesn’t find it and sell it for some Jim Beam.
3. I have decided to embrace unemployment and genteel poverty and aside from being too busy applying for food stamps, disability, welfare and other stuff on PA COMPASS (with your computer) so that I can afford the cable and cell bills I apparently cannot reduce, I can’t afford to put out the $300 it would probably cost to pack, insure and ship all this crap to Old Tappan and Indianapolis and then wait for you to get around to figuring out how to reimburse me. Next idea?
4. WHAT equipment?
5. No response.
Hmmm. We’ll see what 24 hours brings (along with my final paycheck), but right now, I’m leaning towards #5.