“Dear Patty, Please excuse Daniel from Religion class FOREVER. The batshit nun whose constant focus on suffering, death, dying and the separation of children and parents in heaven has caused enough distress in my child that I will likely put a therapist’s kid through an Ivy League school trying to calm him down. Yeah, I know I sent him to Catholic school, and I know you can’t control the punitive penguin who spouts this crap, but he is done with being in her class. Capisce?”
Okay, I prolly need to work on the verbiage a little.